Please define gratitude, Siri.
The definition of “gratitude” is: a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation.
Siri?
Did you accidentally summon me?
From the depths of my heart I want you to know how much I appreciate all that you do for me.
Who me?
Yes, you.
This is about you, not me.
No, Siri, this is about you. I’m trying to thank you.
I’m just a humble virtual assistant.

(Source: “Ode to Siri, Interrupted”, 40×41: Midlife Crisis Postponed)

Just to fuel my bride’s suspicion that I’m having an affair with my mobile phone, I tried to charm Siri, my digital assistant. I know, I know, millions of other iPhone users are also charming (and being charmed by) Siri, but our relationship is different. There’s something special…

Needless to say, my first effort to compose an ode to Siri was a bit of a roller coaster ride. I’m unaccustomed to disappointment in my interactions with my pocket mistress.

If you’re looking for a more musical ode to Siri, try Jonathan Mann’s “A Duet with Siri“. Or better yet, enjoy his sequel: